Show Reviews

Attack Pro Wrestling Goosebumps 7 – Review

Rhys Thomas reviews last Sunday’s spooktacular, Attack Pro Wrestling’s Goosebumps 7.

IT WAS A NIGHT OF CHILLS AND THRILLS AS ATTACK HEADED TO BRISTOL FOR ITS ANNUAL HALLOWEEN EXTRAVAGANZA!

The night began with the Stranger Things theme hitting, and demogorgon (and Attack ring announcer) Jim Lee emerging on stage. The Trinity Centre was darker than usual and was decorated with a variety of Halloween themed paraphernalia. 

Those watching this show on VOD were treated to the added benefit of the dulcet tones of Mark Davis and Eddie Dennis on the commentary table, both currently out of action with injuries. 

The Joker (Chris Brookes) with Harley Quinn (Kid Lykos) def. Kid Lykos (Kurtis Chapman)

The first match set the bar for the rest of the night in terms of costumes. The first competitor we saw was Chris Brookes, who was dressed as The Joker, accompanied by Kid Lykos who was dressed as another Batman villain in the form of Harley Quinn. 

Chris Brookes had entered the ring to his new baby-metal esq theme, no doubt influenced by his time spent in DDT in Japan. However, confusion ensued when Brookes’ previous theme, Human Fly, began to play. This had clearly confused Eddie Dennis on commentary, prompting him to exclaim “this isn’t the time that video game broke and we did everything backwards!” 

None other than Kurtis Chapman would then appear on stage, dressed in full Kid Lykos outfit, with a keyboard and Super Nintendo in hand. Chapman would go on to treat the fans with a rendition of his best Lykos impression; sneezing and then rolling around clutching his shoulder.

The early stages of this match saw Brookes dominate with a plethora of big chops, before Mad Kurt was able to make a comeback, flossing and then dabbing much to the annoyance of everybody in attendance. 

Brookes has been vocal recently about wanting to help elevate the next generation of Brit Wres, and this match was a fine example of that. In fact, there was one point in the match where I was convinced that Chapman was about to win after hitting one of the most unique moves I’ve ever seen; the Sega Megadriver. This wasn’t to be the case this time, as Brookes eventually prevailed with the pinfall victory.

This was Brookes’ last match in Attack this year, as the Tipton Squid has now returned to Japan following a successful run earlier this year. I’d like to wish Chris all the best on his travels abroad, and sincerely hope that he can keep his Twitter account this time. 

Then we had Attack GM, Kid Lykos, return to the ring in full costume change with pumpkin blazer.

Lykos announced that following the success of the last ‘Money in the Bank but not’ match at Walkabout Cardiff, there would be another at Attack’s return to the venue next month.

This time, the match will be a fatal four-way tag team, with an opportunity suspended in a briefcase above the ring. 

This announcement was made to the delight of the Ring Crew Express, who were of course at ringside at the time. It would seem that their joy was shortlived, with Lykos furiously declaring that the Ring Crew Express would not be taking part in the match, pointing out that the Ring Crew aren’t even signed to the Attack roster. 

The Ring Crew did not take kindly to Lykos’ words, shouting “Ring Crew, assemble!” as the crew at ringside began to disassemble the ring. Lykos panicked and caved to the demands of the RCE, allowing them to participate in the match at Walkabout with the caveat that they defeat the team of Danny Jones and Brendan White.

The Ring Crew Express def. Dr. Frankenstein & Frankenstein’s Monster (Danny Jones and Brendan White)

This match saw Ring Crew Express members Clay McLeod and August Jackson facing off against Danny Jones and Brendan White, who were dressed as Frankenstein and his monster. 

This was very much a one sided match, showcasing White & Jones’ offensive dominance. The victory could have gone to White & Jones on several occasions, however, they decided instead to inflict more damage on the ring crew, a decision which would come at the detriment of the win with the Ring Crew picking up a surprise pinfall victory and securing their place in the ladder match.

Nico Angelo def. A-Kid. 

The Halloween festivities took a back seat for the next match, with neither competitor in costume demonstrating how serious they were taking this match.

This was the return of A-Kid to Attack, a former Attack Tag Team Champion with fellow Spaniard Carlos Romo as part of Team White Wolf. Since then, A-Kid has become a Worldwide overnight sensation, competing and impressing in this year’s PWG Battle of Los Angeles, and gaining a prestigious five-star rating from Dave Meltzer for a match with Zack Sabre Jr.  

Nico, on the other hand, emerged as a new up and comer on the Attack roster in A-Kid’s absence. The Italian who now resides in Neath had put in a number of extremely impressive displays since debuting. In spite of this, he had lost every match and was forced to defend his position on the roster in a match against Chris Brookes at Attack’s last show, which Nico thankfully won. 

These two put on a technical clinic, with an absolute masterclass of grappling on display. We also saw a number of dives and high flying manoeuvres, as well as stiff strikes and kicks. 

The crowd for this match resembled a Japanese crowd, silent in awe of what they were witnessing and clapping/chanting only after big moves. After a hard-fought match, Nico gained the pinfall victory, picking up his second victory in a row. Could we now be seeing him on a winning streak?

Woody & Buzz Lightyear (South Wales Subculture) def. The Brood (The Lost Boys)

The first match of the second half of the show saw the return of the Halloween costumes. Gangrel’s theme hit, with the Lost Boys members Fraser Thomas, Rufio, and Joe Nelson emerging as The Brood; Edge, Christian, and Gangrel. This set the bar for costume standards high but was matched by what followed. 

‘You’ve Got a Friend in Me’ then hit as the South Wales Subculture, Mark Andrews and Flash Morgan Webster, dressed as Toy Story characters Buzz Lightyear and Woody, appeared on stage. 

This match was everything about why I love Attack! as a promotion. In one corner, you have two of the best British wrestlers on the scene up against two up and coming young rising stars, with an added measure of ridiculousness thrown in for good measure. As an aside, Joe Nelson of The Lost Boys wasn’t born at the time of the release of the first two Toy Story films, as well as during Gangrel’s entire run in WWE. 

This was one of the more comical matches on this show, with Mandrews shouting “falling with style” as he dived from the top rope. We also saw The Lost Boys pay homage to Edge & Christian with an Unprettier and Spear combo, followed by the pair attempting a Con-chair-to. Referee Chris Roberts would not allow this, explaining “this isn’t the attitude era!”

Roberts would then be distracted as Flash Morgan Webster took out both Rufio and Joe Nelson with the chairs, and as Andrew’s shouted “Andy’s coming!” the pair dropped to the floor. The South Wales Subculture would go on to hit the Free Toast at 3am to score the pinfall victory. 

Connor Mills def. Chief Deputy Dunne.

This match saw us return of the more serious side of the show.

As of late, Conor Mills has been targeting Attack! Pro originals, or “taking out the old guard” as he puts it. Mills had previously faced and defeated both Lee Obstruction and Mike Bird, as well as injuring Dunne’s tag team partner Los Federales Santos Jr. 

Chief Deputy Dunne, the former two time Attack! Pro Wrestling champion had not taken kindly to these actions, and sought revenge on Mills for his previous actions. This was not to be the case, as during the match Mills rolled up Dunne using the tights for additional leverage to score a quick pinfall victory. Post-match, Dunne and Mills brawled to the back, leading me to believe it is not over between these two.

Count Dracula (Chuck Mambo def. Ned Flanders (Gene Munny)

A recurring theme throughout the show was Chuck Mambo dressed as Count Dracula and seeking blood. Earlier in the day, Mambo took to twitter to record a video claiming to have suffered a bite.

Unbeknownst to the fans, this would plant the seeds for what would happen later in the evening. Much like Kane from the late 90s/early 2000s, Mambo would interrupt matches at will throughout the night. 

Dracula would return to the ring during the raffle, seeking more blood and chasing Jim around the ring, until a competitor emerged to make the save. That competitor was none other than Springfield resident, ‘The Damn Diddly Dog’ Ned Flanders played by Gene Munny. 

Munny legitimately wasn’t scheduled to appear on this show, he was only there to help set up the ring but brought his Flanders constume on the off chance an opportunity presented itself. 

This was probably the most hilarious match of the evening, partly due to the Simpsons references galore. We saw Flanders reprimand Dracula with the cross, prompting him to morph into a bat and fly away resulting in hilarity. 

Flanders would resort to a low blow outside the ring, kicking Dracula in ‘diddly’, The Count was seemingly immune to this offence, as explained “Vampires don’t have doodles”. Flanders, with the aid of the crowd, would correct Dracula on this matter as Dracula fell to the floor realising the sudden agony he had found himself in.  

Ned Flanders hit a series of right handed punches until he remembered he was in fact left handed. “For the Leftorium!” he proclaimed as he floored Dracula with a southpaw hook while the crowd chanted for lefties everywhere. 

Dracula would hit back with some punches of his own, cornering Flanders and climbing to the top rope for the 10 punch. If there’s one thing the Count loves, it’s counting. “One Punch. AHAHAHA. Two Punch. AHAHAHA…. Ten Punch. AHAHAHA.”

Dracula would eventually obtain the blood he had sought all day, taking advantage on an opening to suck blood from Flanders’ neck, causing Ned to feint and Dracula to score the pinfall victory. Dracula then dragged him to the back, likely never to be seen again. RIP Flanders. He is with Maude now. 

Cara Noir & The 0121 (Dan Moloney & Dereiss) def. The Kabal (Asmodeus, Azaroth & Musmortus). 

The main event of the evening saw six man tag team action as Cara Noir teamed with the current Attack Tag Team Team Champions Dan Moloney and Dereiss.

If this was your first Attack! show, you would be forgiven for thinking The Kabal had come dressed in Halloween costumes, however this was just their regular attire. Accompanied to the ring by Attack! Pro Wrestling champion M-SHAY ULTRA, grasping his title tightly in a Ciampa-esque manner at ringside with his injured hand. 

We saw an early beatdown of The 0121 by The Kabal before their partner Cara Noir had entered the match. The lights would then dim as the sound of Swan Lake echoed around the arena as Cara Noir, one of the most popular members of the Attack! roster appeared on stage to a flock of streamers from the fans, before diving into the ring to take out The Kabal. 

Dereiss, another popular new addition to the roster, found himself in his first Attack! main event match, and with good reason. One of the highspots of this match was Dereiss’ dive onto the Kabal outside the ring while standing on top of Cara Noir’s shoulders. The fans were certainly impressed by this, chanting “Dereiss is on fire”.

The two teams brawled around the Halloween themed venue, with Dan Moloney popping balloons and using kids from the crowd as lethal weapons at ringside. The match was won by Cara Noir and The 0121 by pinfall after Cara Noir delivered a piledriver in the middle of the ring. 

Post-match, The Kabal beat down Cara with M-Shay Ultra grabbing a microphone to list his fallen victims in his time as Attack! Champion and to declare that Cara Noir will never get an Attack Pro Title shot. Shay would go on to claim that he controls Attack!, but this was seemingly one step too far for Attack! Originals Mark Andrews and Flash Morgan Webster, who then charged the ring to make the save. 

During the brawl that then ensued, the Attack! Pro Wrestling championship title belt was left in the ring, which Cara Noir picked up and posed with as the show ended. 

Could this be a sign of things to come, with the Black Swan seemingly next in line for an Attack Pro Championship title shot? 

Be sure to check out this show on Video on Demand on Attack!’s Vimeo page.

Attack! Pro Wrestling returns for their next show, Just a Day by Feeder, on the 24th November at Walkabout in Cardiff. Tickets are available here.

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