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Booking The Undertaker’s Perfect Farewell

James Klonowski books how he would have WWE bid farewell to The Undertaker.

What better way to end the legendary career of The Undertaker by book-ending it the way it began…

To say The Undertaker is in the twilight of his career is putting it politely. The end is near, but for a man so synonymous with professional wrestling and WWE, just how do you craft the perfect goodbye to the greatest legend of all time?

WWE’s superb documentary series on the Network titled “The Last Ride”, which documents Undertaker’s last few years in the business, is incredible viewing. In each chapter you can see the anguish and determination in the eyes of The Phenom, who wants a rightful sendoff for an illustrious career.

Every time he’s had a bad match, he believes he needs to redeem himself and come back better than before. However, when he does so he feels as if he has one more run left in him. It’s a vicious cycle that never seems to end, unless the perfect goodbye is crafted.

But how do you even begin to script The Undertaker’s farewell?

Just trying to imagine a WWE without him is a difficult pill to swallow. He is the WWE, more than anybody else. For 30 years he has run that locker room and has been the biggest draw Vince McMahon has ever had over such a sustained period of time. The guy had 21 wins in a row at WrestleMania for crying out loud. There is no denying his stature and the respect he demands.

So, how do you craft the perfect swansong for WWE’s greatest creation? Well, I believe I have come up with something that even Mark Calloway himself would agree is perfect end for The Undertaker. It all happens at Survivor Series, 30 years to the day of his WWE debut…

Picture it: Dallas, Texas. His home state. A five-on-five traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match pitting Taker and his most respected allies and rivals against his most despised enemies. So, you’ll have him, Kane, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and John Cena taking on Brock Lesnar, AJ Styles, The Fiend, Randy Orton, and Edge. Already you have arguably the biggest main event in the company’s history.

All nine competitors will make their entrance first before Brother Love, yes Bruce “Something To Wrestle” Prichard himself, walks down the aisle just like he did all the way back in 1990. The Undertaker will then stroll down to the ring in the exact same gear he wore during his debut.

The match will feature many of his classic maneuvers, including Old School, The Last Ride, Chokeslam, Flying Lariat, and of course, the Tombstone Piledriver. Not sure on the eliminations, but I do believe it needs to be a clean sweep for Undertaker’s team, with him lastly eliminating Brock Lesnar.

Once the bout has ended, I’d have the rivals and partners surround the ring and simply applaud Undertaker, who will take in the last standing ovation of his career. He will do his signature bent-knee taunt, summoning down the druids who will bring a casket with them. Undertaker will nod respectively to his friends and adversaries before voluntarily getting inside the casket, and the lid is closed. The druids will then carry Undertaker out as the fans chant his name while the lights go out.

Suddenly, a motorcycle can be heard revving up, and Limp Bizkit’s “Keep Rolling” is heard blasting out of the sound systems. Undertaker, garbed in his American Badass attire, rides out and soaks in the adulation one final time before taking to the microphone. He’ll thank everyone, saying, “This is the perfect way for The Undertaker to rest in peace. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, it’s been one hell of a ride!”

As the entire roster, led by a tearful Mr. McMahon, appears on stage to applaud Undertaker, Mark Calloway invites his wife and children into the ring to soak in the moment. There will then be a special highlights package shown of Undertaker’s greatest moments, with snippets from legends explaining what he means to them.

That is how I would end The Undertaker’s career in WWE. Maybe not perfect, but a damn size better than almost being crippled by Goldberg.

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You can find the author of this article on Twitter @JK_CFC3Thanks for reading!

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