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MLW Anthology: Mance Warner Results – May 16, 2020

Iain Oliver looks at MLW’s debut episode of Anthology, looking back at the best matches of Mance Warner.

MLW’s best of series ‘Anthology’ continues, looking at ‘The Southern Psychopath’ Mance Warner

A Shad Gaspard tribute graphic was shown before the start of the opening credits.

During the introduction video, CONTRA unit interrupted and Josef Samael narrated us through the carnage that CONTRA has put MLW through in recent weeks. 

Mance Warner’s introduction video showed his early days in MLW where he made an enemy in Salina de la Renta and her Promociones Dorado stable. That led to Salina, who was executive producer of Fusion that week, booking friends Callihan and Warner in a loser leaves MLW match in Fusion episode #62.

Loser Leaves MLW, Falls Count AnywhereMance Warner defeated Sami Callihan via pinfall (MLW Fusion, Episode 62)

This was an unbelievable, gross, wild and crazy brawl which ended Callihan’s MLW run. The fight took them all over the arena and a staple gun was used all over Warner’s body. In the end, the southern psycho did not give up and fought back to win a vicious and bloody fight.

Warner brought out a trash can with him, Callihan walked out spat water at Jim Cornette who was on commentary at the time and flipped him the middle finger. Cornette flipped out and swung his tennis racket but missed Callihan by a mile. Callihan and Cornette were in the middle of a war of words at the time but nothing ever developed into the ring. 

Callihan and Warner actually had a mutual alliance at the time as they were simultaneously feuding with Promociones Dorado, but in a brilliant move from Salina de la Renta, she booked this match to eliminate half of her problem, and hopefully severely injure the other. 

They immediately went at it ringside with Callihan using a trash can lid and steel chair against Warner before launching him into the crowd. They brawled through the concession stand as Bocchini and Cornette got worked up thinking that Callihan could have spat diphtheria, Ebola, measles, syphilis or tetanus at them. And nowadays we all know what else he can add to that virus list…

They brawled up the bleachers and rammed each other into the back wall before Callihan hit a brainbuster on the bleachers for a two count. Warner fought back and used a plastic trash can as a helmet to smack Callihan in the face. 

Bocchini thought Cornette’s eye was becoming a little red, and Cornette wondered if Callihan had given him “trench mouth”. They brawled over to the food stand and used forks on each other before Warner shoved Tabasco down Warner’s throat. 

They made their way back into the ring where Callihan brought out the staple gun… He went for Warner’s forehead but Warner fought back and after 10 minutes the first attempt at a WRESTLING MOVE, a sunset flip, Callihan stood firm reached down between his legs and staple gunned Warner between the eyes. 

He then placed a trash can on Warner and swung a steel chair full force directly at his face. How are you supposed to know when that chair is coming? Warner was busted open from either the staple or the chair shot as Callihan grabbed some money from the fans at ringside. He then stapled dollar bills to Warner’s shoulders and one on his forehead. 

Warner was a sight: on his knees, writhing in pain, face covered in blood and dollar bills stapled to his shoulders and forehead. Callihan screamed at him to quit, he didn’t. He Hulked up, ripped the money off him, eye-poked Callihan and choke slammed him into the trash can for a two count. 

Callihan then brought out a wooden sheet from under the ring and set it up between two chairs. He went to the top rope but Callihan grabbed him in the groin, went up to join him and then hit a piledriver from the top rope through the wooden board! A “holy shit” chant broke out and amazingly Warner kicked out at two and the match continued. 

Callihan brought out a wooden board of his own and launched it into the ring, and right onto Warner’s knee. He took too much time shouting his “thumbs up thumbs down” and got speared through the board he set up in the corner. Callihan also kicked out at two.

They sat on chairs and faced one another. They took turns swinging right hands before Callihan spat in Warner’s face but of course, Warner retaliated with a globular mouthful of his own. They exchanged some more and the next devastating manoeuvrer (that didn’t end the fight) was a Callihan tombstone piledriver onto a seated chair, which Warner again kicked out of. 

Callihan then took the stapling to a whole other level. He grabbed Warner’s tongue out of his mouth… and yes, you guessed it, stapled it to a piece of the wooden board. This backfired though as it only fired Warner up. He Hulked up again, yanked his stapled tongue off the wood, and battered Callihan over the head with it time and time again. 

Cornette was going bananas on commentary shouting for Warner to beat him and finish the match. Warner hit Callihan with his knee pad up/down running knee to the face but Callihan kicked out at one! Warner then rested a piece of the broken wood against a prone Callihan and hit a second running knee through the wood and into Callihan’s face for the win and the fall that sent Sami Callihan out of MLW.  

Warner’s feud with Promociones Dorado continued on as he battled through Ricky Martinez and Bestia 666 until he collided with Jimmy Havoc. These two lunatics faced off in four different styles of matches (Fusion #77, Superfight PPV, Fusion #85 & 89) before this fifth and final feud ending blood bath from Fusion episode #94. 

No Ropes Barbed Wire MatchMance Warner defeated Jimmy Havoc (with Priscilla Kelly) via pinfall (MLW Fusion Episode 94)

Havoc brought a barbed wire baseball bat with him- like we needed more of the stuff. They teased hitting the wire for a few moments but Havoc was first to hit it torso and neck first after Warner sidestepped a lunge. That was followed up with an Irish whip that sent him back first into it too. Warner pushed him headfirst and then a drop toe hold sent him face-first into the wire to bust him open. 

Havoc fought back with a chain assisted right hand, a DDT and a suplex into the wire. Havoc then attacked Warner’s knee with a chair too before pushing him headfirst into the wire himself. He then used a staplegun to Warner’s forehead and whipped him into the wire too. He took off Warner’s shirt and stapled it to his back, before pulling it back off! Havoc then used wire cutters to cut a string of wire and use it across Warner’s forehead and then around his mouth! He then used his baseball bat across the back and forehead too. There was a real wrestling move next as Havoc used a curb stomp and attempted a pinfall, but Warner kicked out. 

They gave each other the double middle finger before Warner rammed the baseball bat between Havoc’s legs, but Jimmy retaliated seconds later with a staplegun staple between Warner’s legs, or “the Bucksnorts” as the commentary team called it. 

Warner then chokeslammed Havoc into a seated chair lying on its side, but moments later was on the receiving end of a death valley driver through a wooden board in the corner of the ring. Warner got his revenge with a chokeslam through some more wooden boards but Havoc kicked out. Havoc then had his plan of throwing salt in the eyes thwarted as Mance punched it back in his face, hit a clothesline with wire wrapped around his arm and a piledriver onto a chair to pick up the win.

We heard from a bloodied up Warner backstage after his victorious barbed wire match and he told us that he ended Jimmy Havoc, and now he is going to hit the pay window, drink some light beers and get some gold. He called out Alexander Hammerstone to bring us right up to the modern-day where he is currently feuding with the National Openweight champion and the Dynasty stable. 

We then switched to new modern footage where in this week’s quarantine roll-call we saw our favourite Mexican chefs the Parks grilling hamburgers and calling out CONTRA unit, Gino Medina shooing away the cameras as the “mamacitas” were calling, Dan Lambert getting all serious about athletic commissions and safe working environments, Mance Warner has drunkenly written up the blueprints for the triple tower of doom cage match, Myron Reed was asking who is joining Injustice? The Dynasty caught up on Facetime again- Holliday has casually just bought a whole beach and both he and Hammerstone revealed they have signed extensions with MLW, the Von Erichs celebrated a non-social distant family birthday that disgusted Tom Lawlor as he realised he shares the same birthday with Kevin Von Erich, King Mo is still bad-mouthing Low Ki, Aria Blake and Col. Robert Parker are still flirting, Jordan Oliver tells us Injustice is 500 million deep and have men in every city and state, and we ended with the Parks telling CONTRA unit they are coming for them. 

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