WrestleMania 32 is upon us, but let’s skip right past that and look ahead with some WrestleMania 33 predictions
In true WWE style, WrestleMania 32 is heading towards being one of the most underwhelming cards in the history of the company. Currently featuring the main event of Roman Reigns vs. Triple H, where Roman is obviously expected to win the title, WWE can only be expecting a chorus of boos come the end of the show. The only way is up from here, right? Let’s make some early WrestleMania 33 predictions.
Today we will be focusing on what card WWE fans could look forward to in a dream reality, and which one they will likely receive.
First of all, let’s take a look at the guys on the prestigious NXT roster that will likely be making their way up to the main roster before April 2, 2017. – Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, Austin Aries, Shinsuke Nakamura, Hideo Itami, Apollo Crews, Baron Corbin, Enzo and Cass, Dash and Dawson, Asuka, Bayley and Emma.
WRESTLEMANIA 33 DREAM CARD
– Intercontinental Title Seven-Way Ladder Match – Hideo Itami vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Apollo Crews vs. Kalisto vs. Neville vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Cesaro (c)
Two of the newer members of the roster had battled their way into contention with impressive runs in the Royal Rumble, while standard players in this match such as Ziggler, Rhodes (who will have seen the stars align and cast his gimmick to the depths of hell) and Neville will provide solid entertainment throughout the match. At the end of the match though, with a smile on his face, Apollo Crews would start his reign as the new Intercontinental Champion.
– Triple Threat Match – AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn
Match of the year candidate right here. The three would tear the house down for a solid twenty-minute match and leave the crowd exhausted after the first two bouts.
– Women’s Championship Match – Sasha Banks (c) vs. Asuka
Sasha has been dabbling back and forth between face and heel much like most of the female locker room, but going up against the Japanese superstar she would be a solid heel worried about how she would keep her hold on the belt. Ultimately, through nefarious methods, “The Boss” would come away with the gold.
– Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal – Everybody who isn’t being used in another capacity.
Hopefully, this will be won by somebody in the League of Nations so we don’t have to keep watching them in any kind of serious capacity.
– Tag Team Championship Match – The Balor (Bullet) Club vs. The New Day (c)
Heel Balor and his band of merry minions taking on the *Xavier Woods voice please* WWE World Tag Team Champions. After being embroiled in a back and forth feud over the Road to WrestleMania, the bad guys ultimately use Francesca 2 as a hostage to distract Xavier and pick up the win. It’ll probably be more awesome than that, guaranteed.
- Singles Match – John Cena vs. Triple H
Both of these men are reaching the tail end of their in-ring careers, and if The Authority stays in power this Sunday at Mania, Cena will be top of the list to take them down.
– Singles Match – The Undertaker vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Is there a need to go into detail? Another match of the year candidate.
- Gimmick Match of some kind to space out the awesome card
– Singles Match – The Rock vs. The Brock
Let’s be honest, this WrestleMania season, The Beast Incarnate has settled for a mid-card feud in order to take a step back from the WWE Championship picture. However, with The Rock making his scheduled appearance to promote Baywatch with David Hasselhoff, could there be some kind of shenanigans between the two megastars? Maybe Rock wants revenge for Summerslam 2002.
– WWE World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match – Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
That’s right, Ambrose as champion. He won’t leave as champion though as that will ultimately go to Roman Reigns in the first time he is largely considered a half decent character as he’s working as the heel of the trio. Would that work? Probably not, but it’d be nice to see the Samoan badass catch a break from the fans.
Okay, so that was some version of a dream card in the perfect scenario. Look away now if you would rather keep that in your mind than what is to follow. Of course, not every match will be awful due to the sheer depth of the WWE roster these days.
WRESTLEMANIA 33 REALITY CARD
Money In The Bank Intercontinental Title Seven-Way Ladder Match – Dolph Ziggler vs. Neville vs. The Miz vs. Stardust vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose (c)
Yep, nobody has moved forwards or backwards with the next twelve months. Mediocre ladder match at it’s finest. Neville will do a big spot and the crowd will go “OOOOOOOH!” and that will be the lasting memory of this encounter.
– Singles Match – Randy Orton vs. Finn Balor
Face Orton vs. heel Balor is something most fans wouldn’t have expected to see, but with the Balor Club joining up soon, expect them to run roughshod over the entire roster. Back and forth good quality match, with a distraction from one of his team members, Balor catches Orton unaware and rolls him up for the pin.
– Women’s Championship Triple Threat Match – Charlotte (c) vs. Asuka vs. Eva Marie
Eva Marie has a tough time of things. She made that bad first impression from Total Divas and being bereft of any kind of wrestling talent, but even after going training with the Brian Kendrick, things haven’t picked up for her and she was horrendously booed on Monday night when she saved the Total Divas team. Wouldn’t surprise anybody if she walked out champion, either.
– Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Likely won by Kevin Owens who had no other space on the card alongside some of the other newcomers such as Crews and Itami.
– Tag Team Championship Match – The Dudleyz vs. The Usos
It’s not the worst match in the world, but a tag team match that doesn’t involve The New Day on the “Grandest Stage of Them All” wouldn’t lead to a happy crowd. When I say Uce though?
– United States Championship Singles Match – Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
WWE’s match of the year 2016 from NXT Takeover: Dallas, WWE would repeat it for all the fans who didn’t get a chance to watch it. Still probably the best match of the night, that being said.
– Singles Match – Triple H vs. Seth Rollins
Passing of the torch style, this match was rumoured for WrestleMania 32 before Seth Rollins injured his knee back in November 2015. Rollins would have to go over the game to take his mantle as the Cerebral Assassin.
– Both Careers on the Line Singles Match – The Undertaker vs. John Cena
Well, The Undertaker is still here, which means that The Authority is still in power, and that spells bad news for the leader of the Cenation. However, Vinnie Mac didn’t forget about Undertaker putting his hands on him in 2016, so he throws both to the wolves in a Career vs. Career match, and Undertaker is basically Flair in his last year by this point.
As Cena and Taker haven’t had a feud since 2003, the build to this one could turn it into an absolute five-star feud, ultimately with Cena picking up the win.
– WWE World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match – Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns (c)
As with these two, they always need a third component. AJ won the Royal Rumble, but Brock started destroying everything in his path so was granted entry into the main event. Reigns has been champion since WrestleMania 32 and the crowd erupts when AJ picks up his first WWE World Heavyweight Championship.