Right, a stupid Youtube fight is happening this Saturday.
You’ve probably heard about it- it’s featuring notable YouTubers Logan Paul and KSI in a match that makes professional wrestling look like UFC in terms of reality. But it got us here at TWM Towers thinking; what YouTubers would we want to step into the squared circle? Well, that’s where I come in so sit back, cry about the stupidity of life and come with me to see our top five Wrestlers vs YouTuber matches we want to see.
5. True Geordie vs Braun Strowman
We all love two big lads absolutely battering each other, don’t we? Well, show me a bigger, mad lad than Brian ‘The True Geordie.’ He’s huge, he’s mental and he’s Geordie. Perfect, that’s literally all you need to get over with audiences. Putting him up against Braun would most likely be the classic ‘THEY’RE JUST MASSIVE BOYS’ but it would be great. Braun has shone in these types of matches- notably in a surprisingly brilliant falls count anywhere match against Bobby Lashley- so would be able to make some incredibly unique spots. C’mon Brian, get off The Kick-Off and into the main event.
4. Hannah Hart vs Riho
Going from two huge men to two tiny women; we now get to the other end of the YouTubesphere. A little, lovely woman who is absolutely mental, could probably batter you and is loved by everyone…could absolutely describe either the creator of ‘My Drunk Kitchen’ Hannah Hart or the inaugural All Elite Wrestling Champion, Riho. Another two individuals who, due to how similar they are in stature, would potentially put on a wrestling clinic in the middle of the ring. And then go away into a kitchen, get steaming and burn a quiche.
3. Alfie Deyes vs Mustafa Ali
Alfie Deyes is a prick. He is so, so unrelatable to the everyday viewer of his channel that he made a ‘Living on £1 in a single day’ video and spent over £100 on clothes. He’s so out of touch and everything wrong with the British vlogging scene in a man. But do you know who isn’t like that? Is insanely down to earth, fully understanding of the plight of the everyday man and woman and has regularly gone above and beyond to make his fans feel valued? Mustafa Ali.
It would be the classic babyface vs heel storyline with the deplorable bad guy buying needless beard combs and crying about having to have a glass of ‘regular’ tap water because ‘he’s not allowed to use his purified water machine.’ While the heroic underdog fights for us, the fans. Also- I just want to see Mustafa Ali batter him. So Mustafa, be that light…and smash him over the head with it.
2. Game Grumps vs Best Friends
A more lighthearted edition! This would just be the most banter match of all time. Video game and comedy music juggernauts in one corner against one guy obsessed with his looks and another trying to say ‘Shit’ on TNT- it would be a match made in heaven. Comedy wrestling can be the best part of this wacky world so if you put two guys in who already have that experience- that means you Chuck and Trent- vs two guys who do comedy for a living ANYWAY; you’re sure to get something great.
Yes, it can be argued by some LIARS that Danny and Arin of the Game Grumps aren’t necessarily in the best of shapes but we won’t focus on that. It would be Match of the Year in the Wrestling Observer and we’d all love it. Imagine Orange Cassidy getting involved as well?! Quality.
1. Logan Paul vs Brock Lesnar
And this is where it all began. This would be…one of the biggest face turns in wrestling history. It doesn’t matter the past of Brock Lesnar and the booking nightmare we’ve been in over the past like three years. Caving that arrogant prick’s face in would make Brock a god against men. Take everything I said about Mr. Alfie Deyes and multiply it by like, 20 and you get Logan Paul.
The arrogant, cultural appropriating, fake, dead man filming ‘vlogger’ is still, somehow, one of the sites most popular content creators. And I just want to see what Brock would do to him. It would be absolutely exceptional and I’d pay 10x what he and KSI are charging this weekend to watch it.
You can find me on Twitter @McIverTheMark. Thanks for reading.