I’ve got a text!
Dear Peter, you must write an article about which ten wrestlers would be a good fit for Love Island #nowriteynolikey #theyreaperfect10
Well, that was a handy message to receive, because Love Island is nearing its conclusion for this year’s edition, with the show completing another stint as a feature of British summer.
I apologise for the shock announcement here, but there was a wrestler who was on the show – Adam Maxted. They never mentioned him or history on World of Sport wrestling last year. Nope, not once. THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.
That aside, it got me thinking if there was to be a wrestling version of the show, who would be on it. So without further ado, here are my picks for the show.
1. Ric Flair
Who better to be the first Islander, than the Nature Boy himself, Ric Flair. He has had more dalliances than he’s had title reigns and hot dinners combined, the lothario in his pomp would put any of the current crop of stars in his shade. One has to wonder whether he’d be able to keep up with the youngsters in terms of drinking, but I am fantasy booking, so 70s Flair would beat them, hands down. He might even be a better pick than Adam Maxted. You remember him right, the wrestler who appeared on Love Island.
2. Chris Jericho
Next to be announced for the villa is the man of 1,004 holds, Chris Jericho. I think he’d be compelling to watch, plus he has a strong track record for arguments with the rest of the roster when the occasion calls for it. He’d also be the most organised Islander ever and could make use of his list to keep track of all his admin.
3. Kip Sabian
The third boy on his way to wherever Love Island is held is Kip Sabian. He is arguably one of the most beautiful men in BritWres not called Jack Sexsmith or Chris Brookes and those looks certainly fit the bill. He’s also used to working with ITV, so would feel at ease there having formerly been part of World of Sport Wrestling.
4. John Cena
Another male who has ‘the Love Island Look™ is John Cena. I admit that it would be difficult to film someone who is invisible but they’d do their best. Although we can’t see him, I’m sure it would work, and if anything it just means that he’s only visible as a result of his actions, and what better metaphor for life is there? I expect that he would be good at the challenges – especially those requiring physical aptitude.
5. The Rock
Because if I haven’t blown the budget on the previous four – my final male pick is the Rock – he oozes charisma and a is a producers dream. He would give soundbites galore and is a huge draw on name alone. I don’t know what he is like as a person to be in a couple with, but if he’s anything close to how he presents over Instagram, then whoever couples with him is very lucky indeed.
6. Becky Lynch
Ok, so this first female is a bit of a curveball, as she’s currently in a relationship, not that the WWE would ever let you forget. Speaking of not forgetting, I’d just like to remind you that a certain British wrestler called Adam Maxted was once on Love Island. Don’t forget now. Anyway, Becky’s with Seth but her head could be turned (as apparently happens frequently on this show). Also, the idea of the fiery Becky Lynch being in an argument terrifies this writer who is scared of confrontation.
7. Mandy Rose
Thanks to WWE creative and their storylines Mandy Rose has shown how she can act in relationships (with the correct instruction from producers) so she could be the person that turns a few heads. It remains to be seen how she is like in ‘real world’ relationships, but should someone want to engineer a situation, then Mandy would have the previous experience required.
8. Alicia Fox
Sometimes you just need someone crazy to be in the villa, because if by some miracle the others present as quite normal, there are no such fears for Alicia. A little bit of crazy goes a long way and compelling television would be easily be created. As a wrestler on Love Island, she could follow in the steps of that guy.. oh what was his name again.. Adam Maxted – not sure if you’ve heard of him.
9. Session Moth Martina
Well #EverybodyFanciesMartina, so why not? Having her in the same villa as Cena is dangerous, and it’ll be tough to leave her 200 and counting children at home, but I would have her enter the villa as one of the first 4 females so she pairs up with John. Maybe now, at least, we can find out whether it is bants to grind on John Cena. If it’s not bants, then she’s paved the way for a big impact from the bombshell announcement.
10. Nikki Bella
She understandably has the look that would be required for Love Island, and the scenario I have planned out is that four couples have been created and Cena is not the remaining singleton. Nikki would enter and have to pick her chosen companion and I’m intrigued how the situation would play out with the former couple spending the best part of two months in very close proximity.
So there are our ten wrestlers for Love Island. Sure, the coupling of Nikki Bella and John Cena will be a bit awkward, and Martina will more than likely drink the Love Island booze budget dry in the first twelve hours; but surely you’d watch it, right?
Just don’t have too many tables and chairs lying around. They can’t be trusted.
You can find me on Twitter @PBWrites92. Thanks for reading.