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Views of a Casual Wrestling Fan: More Cesaro Please

Disclaimer: The views of TDF in no way represent those of The Wrestling Mania, the content also contains language that is inappropriate for children or people who are easily offended.

Raw 4/11/13

  • CM Punk starting the show is a bit of a double edger because I now know there’ll be only disappointment after his part is over but it did start the show strong.
  • Punk and Rowan put on a good match but I wouldn’t expect any less from the longest reigning WWE Champion in recent history.
  • Here comes the shortest reigning WWE Champion in recent history to help stave off the Wyatt’s. I have a lot of time for all the characters involved in this angle but it’s a definite demotion for Daniel Bryan. I don’t like that.
  • WWE Vote time and if it isn’t Dolph Ziggler there is something seriously wrong with people and I’ll eat my hat.
  • WWE Fun fact they’re on track to exceed 2 Billion YouTube views, which is something that really impresses me. I wonder how much Internet money they’re making with viewing figures like that? To think it’s all people watching Goldust put on his makeup.
  • Paul Heyman crying is weird and I’m not seeing the point of it.
  • Looks like Ryback is going to get a win under his belt and, let’s be honest, if he can’t beat Khali he can’t beat Bill Goldberg at Mania…Which he can’t do anyway…Even if he does steal JBL’s stolen finisher for the finish. Meh standard match for me. I was just relieved Khali didn’t repeat the referee’s count out loud like last time I watched him wrestle.
  • I think Kofi is going to job…I’m writing this a few days after Raw and for the life of me I can’t remember who he wrestled. My notes just say ‘Good match’ but I find that hard to believe now. It’ll come to me.
  • I really liked the Big Show package. They do make a good video package.
  • Holy pissflaps Big E Langston won the vote in a major landslide. Well colour me surprised and get me some sauce for that hat.
  • Good match between Orton and Big E. Randall put Big E over a fair bit which I think is more than Ziggler would have got. Ziggler sells so well that it’s hard for him to get in any offense. For all the credit to Big E I still don’t get it. I appreciate he’s got a WWE build but I find myself distracted by his ring attire. It looks so uncomfortable. I can’t begin to imagine how chaffed that man’s gooch must be.
  • Moving on. It’s Fandango. More like Fandan-go-home hahahaha. Boom.
  • ‘So what’s with that guy?’ Says Mrs TDF. ‘Oh he’s a ballroom dancer that for some reason has decided to wrestle’. ‘Why?’ She responds. Anyone?
  • That is not Tyson Kidd.
  • I’ve Googled it and I think it is Tyson Kidd. Normally bald people look older than people with hair but Tyson is bucking that trend.
  • Nice video about the Kidd/Neidhart wedding but I was disappointed by D-Bry’s gear. I appreciate the beard and that make it hard to look groomed but if the Anvil can suit up so can that guy that’s not good enough to be WWE Champion.
  • A replay of an almost dead Cena still defeating Damien Sandow.
  • IT WAS DEL RIO! That’s who Kofi wrestled! Shit that’s harsh I like Del Rio.
  • Uncle Dutch Coulter could have been a great character in Read Dead Redemption
  • More Cesaro please.
  • Leth Thwagger pleathe.
  • Ok now I’m conscious of the direction of these articles and my observations and how it affects my legitimacy as a fan but I’m pretty sure Cena is going bald and noticing this and trying to confirm it will probably dominate future Cena segments.
  • Goldust has really ‘Ric Flaired’ this opportunity by grabbing it by the balls.
  • I like Dolph but the great IC title is worthless nowadays and so is a win over its holder.
  • Main event time with a ‘Big’ confrontation. See what I did there? You know you love it.
  • Steph’s voice has ‘X-Pac heat’. I’m not saying anything about HHH’s taste in women but Chyna was a dude and Steph seems to get manlier every time I see her.
  • Poor Big Show. Dey took his jurrrb!
  • Good news for Big Show! Dey gave him his jurrrb back!
  • Big Slow responds to the good news by blatantly ripping off D-Bry’s gimmick. Why is this being appropriated into this angle? Do not like.
  • Slow wins WWE titles at Survivor Series. At least twice before.
  • Kane. Lol. His new gimmick is to be Johnny Laurinitis.

I wasn’t offended by most of it this week but I’m not enjoying the main stuff around the main eventers. Show is decent but we’ve been here a million times and he’s not one of the big faces. The best way I can paraphrase this is to say let’s go back 14/15 years. The Authority is the Corporation. They’re even dressing the same. Imagine Stone Cold getting cheated by the Corporation and then running off to fight the Brood.

It’s not happening. Nor is Austin teaming with Mick Foley to fight off the Brood. I think this Authority angle works to a degree but as a casual I’m sitting here wondering why Bryan (cheated by the Authority), CM Punk (general authority hater) and John Cena (all round good egg) aren’t walking down to the ring and saying ‘Hey. HHH. We’ve got the biggest dicks here and we don’t like this. So let’s go.’

Second column and I’ve gone from being a casual fan to being an easily annoyed (s)mark. The joys of rasslin.

– By TDF


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