It’s safe to say that European football is in a bit of a mad phrase right now.
Between VAR, bribery and blood money buying the World Cup in 2022 – which, incidentally, I would be barred from attending having previously been to Israel on holiday – the soul of the game has all but gone.
And it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to find the sport we all know and love entertaining.
So, to that end, I present to you a selection of clubs that our wrestling Lord and Saviour Vince Mcmahon could take over and bring some joy and entertainment to.
And no, it isn’t Newcastle United (Sorry Brucie), or the obvious choices such as Real Madrid and PSG.
The Bundesliga has become pretty stagnant over the last few years, with only Bayern Munich, Red Bull Liepzig and Borussia Dortmund proving any form of entertainment.
The league has essentially, become a two or three-horse race, with the rest all fighting it out for relegation or Europa League places.
But, a few years ago there was a club who came into the league and created a bit of chaos. Vince McMahon, could I interest you in one of the craziest clubs in the world in St Pauli FC?
Currently playing in the German Second Division, St Pauli is a little bit like certain facets of the WWE Universe – a massive cult. The fans like to see the club as some kind of left-wing, punk rock, anti-establishment group, and they dress like fans of Johnny Rotten.
They’ve been up and down the leagues, more times than the Big Show has switched between Heel and Face and could cause serious havoc if a billionaire were to invest in them.
Think lunatics running the asylum…at the owner’s own request. That would definitely make the Bundesliga a bit more interesting.
Who didn’t enjoy seeing Portsmouth at the top of the Premier League for a few weeks back in 2003? Thanks to an 87-year-old Teddy Sheringham scoring a hat-trick, with another goal from 200-year-old Patrik Berger, Pompey beat Bolton Wanderers to become the best team in England at one point.
But, after the money dried up, and several failed ownerships, they now sit in the bottom half of League One.
Much like St Pauli, the Pompey fan base is unique, and the Fratton Park has seen better days, so a cash injection from a man who likes a challenge could be just what the club needs to get back to where the fans want to see it.
Whether the rest of the country wants to see it return there is a different story, but just imagine a Portsmouth team full of 7ft tall centre backs taking on the best in the world.
Living the dream.
The days of Crespo, Maldini, Shevchenko, Pirlo, Kaka, Seedorf, et al are long gone from the San Siro. But it was a side that swept all before them in both domestic and European football. The Rossoneri has one of the most storied histories in world football and it’s truly a sad state of affairs to see them languishing in 14th place in Serie A…and with Fabio Borini in the squad. Sigh.
They’ve had their fair share of maniacal owners over the years, with the latest being an investment company who seems unwilling to actually, you know, invest called Elliott Management Company.
We all know how much Vince McMahon loves to be loved and if he were to invest in AC Milan, he would become a national hero, should they return to the glory days of just 10 years ago.
And while he’s there, he could give youngster Gianluigi Donnarumma a kick up the arse – because he needs it.
Finally, Brechin is currently the worst side in Scottish football, sitting at the bottom of League Two.
BUY THEM, VINCE. Pump millions into it. Make them Premiership champions and finally make Scottish football exciting. I beg you. Please. We’re all sick of Celtic and Rangers. Hell, buy any other Scottish club and make them champions. Just do something to end the pain of Scottish football monotony. And hey, imagine Wrestlemania at Glebe Park…
I’d be interested to know which clubs fans of TWM would like to see Vince McMahon invest in. No doubt you’ll all pick your own.
You can find the author of this article on Twitter @ACailler. Thanks for reading!