I think we can all agree that The Undertaker Farewell at Survivor Series absolutely sucked. It sucked worse than the Retribution angle or giving Michael Cole a 20-minute WrestleMania match.
This was The Phenom of WWE we are talking about. The man who has been on top of sports-entertainment for 30 years. Three whole decades of Deadman Destruction. His farewell should’ve been the greatest of all time, not some afterthought in an empty arena.
If you didn’t catch Survivor Series and the farewell, here’s what happened: a host of legends from Undertaker’s past came to the ring with their own individual entrance music before a long tribute video on The Phenom’s legendary career was shown on screen. Once that was finished, the entire cast in the ring was gone, replaced by a plastic-looking Mr McMahon. Seriously, he and Simon Cowell must go to the same doctor. Anyway, McMahon struggled through his speech, even mentioning WWF, before saying Undertaker’s legacy will live on enterally.
Undertaker then made his entrance, cut a short promo about it being time for him to Rest In Peace, then saluted to a cool hologram of the late, Paul Bearer, before a ten-gong tribute was played. Undertaker then exited. And that was it.
He deserved so much better. There was no creativity here whatsoever. With there being no fans allowed in attendance due to the worldwide pandemic, why didn’t they try something different? Undertaker is the most mystical character ever created, and they had the chance here to give that character the sendoff it deserved. They could have created a cinematic masterpiece for the ages. Something like this….
A black hearse rolls into a deserted cemetery, a casket rolls out of the back onto the wet, muddy ground. A rumbling noise is heard, followed by a “Gong”. A bolt of lightning strikes the casket open to reveal Undertaker laying there with eyes closed. We close upon his face, suddenly his eyes open and he sits up. He gets out of the casket, looks around at his hallowed ground before stopping at a gravestone with Shawn Michaels name on. Flashbacks of their epic encounters are shown. He continues to do this with such names as Triple H, Kevin Nash, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Shane McMahon, Ric Flair, Batista, Edge, Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar, Mick Foley, Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, Kurt Angle, Big Show and Kane.
Undertaker does his traditional “Rest In Peace” speech before hearing a voice behind that says, “Deadman, it’s now time for you to rest in peace”. He spins around to see an array of legends from his past standing looking at The Phenom. They part ways to show a grave freshly dug with a gravestone with Undertaker’s name on. He looks at everyone, nods respectfully.
Suddenly, we hear that famous “ohhhhh yeeeeeessss!” Echo throughout the cemetery. A hologram of Paul Bearer is shown above the gravestone holding an urn up for Undertaker to bow to one final time. He does just that before willingly laying in the ground as the legends bury him alive.
Once the deed is done, Undertaker’s famous “Dong” rings out ten times. The legends walk away before Mr McMahon appears. He says “Your legacy will live on eternally. May you rest in peace, Undertaker”. He touches the gravestone before exiting.
We close on the gravestone with Undertaker’s name and date reading 1990 – 2020 with the exact date too. Suddenly, Undertaker’s hand bursts out of the ground to signify he isn’t ready to pass yet. We then hear the roar of the motorcycle and we see The American Badass roll into the cemetery and park up next to the gravestone. He gets off his bike and tells Undertaker, “It’s time, Deadman. It’s time.” The hand slowly draws back into the ground.
The American Badass takes a deep breath before being approached by his wife and daughter. Michelle McCool asks him, “You ready to come home, Mark?” To which Undertaker replies, “For the first time in my life, I am”. He holds both their hands and exits the cemetery as they disappear from view. We go back to the gravestone which now has The American Badass’ bike next to it too. The voice of Mark Callaway is heard saying “Thank you for everything”. Survivor Series then goes off the air.
Not perfect but a lot better than what we got. I may apply for that head writer’s job in WWE after all. Nah, I’ll be wasted there…. In all seriousness, thank you, Undertaker, for the memories and making childhoods all over the world as cool as they were. There’ll never be another like you.
Enjoy your retirement, Deadman.