Superstars opened up this week with Titus O’Neil coming down to the ring wearing one of the new WrestleMania 30 basketball vests that they’ve just released in the WWE shop. They broke Darren Young and him up so that they could have them wrestle on Superstars with zero storyline direction. Great.
Zack Ryder vs. Titus O’Neil
A rare outing of Zack Ryder provides Titus with an opponent tonight. Ryder said this week that he wants to gain 15 pounds. Punk tried that when he first got called up and it just made him look bloated. You have to feel for Ryder, he’s prepared to keep trying again and again and won’t accept that they’re not interested in him.
Ryder is still living off some of that popularity that he had back in 2012 as he cheer leads the crowd early on here with “woos”. This soon stops as Titus throws him around and catches him with two of his signature backdrops. After throwing him headfirst to the mat, O’Neil actually pats himself on the back.
Ryder rolls out of the way of an elbow drop and goes for the Broski Boot but Titus rolls out of the ring. Ryder hits him through the ropes with a missile drop kick, goes to the top rope but gets kicked down to the mat where he is fed into the Clash of the Titus for the win.
Slightly longer than a squash, but that is essentially all that this was. Ryder is fine in the ring, there is no reason why he shouldn’t be on TV every week as a part of some of these 6-man tags, but they’re not interested. This was his first Superstars appearance since November 28th 2013.
Winner: Titus O’Neil via pinfall in 5:15.
On the Raw Rebound this week was a music video package of the Heyman promo that COMPLETELY cut any reference to CM Punk and focused purely on the Undertaker and Brock aspect. We’re then shown that incredible Shield v Wyatts match from Monday; I actually stopped to watch it through again.
Before the show starts up again, we’re shown the Paul Bearer Hall of Fame induction video.
Los Matadores (w/ El Torito) vs. Rybaxel
Diego and Ryback open things up in the ring and after some quick heelish dominance from Rybaxel, the match comes to life when Diego balances on the top rope and catches Axel in a tilt-a-whirl headscissors followed by a perfect arm drag takedown. The Chicago crowd like this but are chanting all manner of stuff at Ryback who is spending much of the match on the apron bitching at fans.
Fernando comes in and they double team Axel getting a two count. Axel drives Fernando in the Rybaxel corner and Ryback blind tags in. It is so much fun watching the big, bumbling Ryback getting the run around from these two. It’s hilarious watching them run the ropes again and again until Fernando raises his hand to halt the charging Ryback. He claps his hands, raises his left arm and plants his fist into his chest and shouts “ole!” with the fans. Los Matadores clear the ring as we go to the break.
Ryback is in control after the commercials (which included a trailer for the Scooby Doo-WWE cartoon movie – which looks… zany) until Axel comes in against Diego who tries a small package to no avail. Axel beats him up with clubbing blows to the back of his head, a series of elbows and a drop kick. Ryback comes back in and the pair of them keep Diego in peril.
Diego manages to tag in Fernando when Ryback misses a charge to the corner and shoulder barges the post. Fernando runs wild and the finish sees Ryback take a suicide dive from Diego to the outside while inside Fernando rolls Axel up with an O’Connor roll and steals a quick pin for the win.
After the match Jerry Lawler, in the revitalised Mean Gene position, interviews Los Matadores. They speak English!? Well, they put on some bad, generic Latin American/Hispanic accents and Fernando makes a lewd joke about El Torito being horny just like Lawler and then Diego cuts a distinctly 1980s promo (you know, when everyone shouted in gravelly voices) about becoming the next WWE Tag Team champions. Doubtful.
Winners: Los Matadores via pinfall (8:18)
A good show ends with a video package that kind of hyped up Daniel Bryan v HHH and kind of suggested that his beef was just as big with Dave Batista and Randy Orton. We can only pray that they put this right by April 6th…
James Cox | @wweukblog