This week’s show saw more poor Divas action, gave Zack Ryder a TV appearance and made damn sure that if you missed Raw, you’d assume that Daniel Bryan had completely disappeared from the WWE.
Cameron and Naomi come out to start off the show. Alex Riley is now wearing some specs; he looks a bit like Clark Kent. Well, last week showcased one of the worst Divas matches I have ever seen on WWE television. Tonight, we get to see Naomi against… Alicia Fox. Great.
Naomi v Alicia Fox
They lock up and Naomi starts by working over Fox’s arm but is reversed and Alicia applies a wrist lock but gets taken down when Naomi sweeps her legs and goes for an early cover. She kicks out at one, gets up and Naomi tries to pin her with an O’Connor roll for another near fall. So far, not so terrible.
A hip toss out of a rear bear hug by Naomi is the first horrible move of the match which Fox just saves by landing on her feet. As she turns round she eats a heel kick, rolls out of the ring and takes a breather. Then, back in the ring, she ducks under the ropes so that she’s given time by the referee. Holding her face in disgust, Fox slaps away Naomi’s hands and starts shoving her. She turns on the heat and grabs Naomi by the hair and slams her face into the top turnbuckle. Naomi clearly doesn’t know how to take a facebuster; she lands on her knees so, just for good measure, Fox again smashes her face into the mat as we get our first rest hold. It took all of 90 seconds!
Out of the rear choke hold, Naomi hits a few elbows but gets thrown into a backbreaker but Fox only gets a two count. This looked good as does the northern lights that she hits next. This match is already a thousand times better than last week’s Superstars Divas match. But, don’t get me wrong, it’s still a poor match. We go to another rear choke hold.
This time out of the hold, Naomi backs Fox into the turnbuckle and out of a whip hits one of the worst hurricanranas you’re ever likely to see. Fox has to land on her feet so as not to kill herself and then tries to sell that it hurt. It’s all sorts of messy. Fox then takes some clotheslines and a kick to the head from the apron after Naomi slides under the ropes. She goes for a cover but still only manages a two count.
The finish sees Naomi hit the Rear View (which may now be called the Booty Call, though I hope not – this is a family show!) out of nowhere and pins the vastly superior Fox for the win.
Winner: Naomi via pinfall (5:55)
The Raw Rebound is next – the 6-man tag between Cena & the Rhodes’ and Sandow & The Real Americans which was an awesome match is up first, followed by the Big Show and Triple H segment that closed out Monday’s Raw.
Out next on Superstars is Zack Ryder who is looking like Christian these days. His hair is shorter and his stubble makes him look like if Christian toned up and gained about 15-20lbs. Out next is 3MB and sadly, for me, its Jinder who is taking on Ryder tonight. Easily the worst of these three goofs.
Zack Ryder v Jinder Mahal
The bell is rung with Drew and Heath still in the ring, bizarrely. They lock up and Mahal gets in the early offence, elbowing his way out of a wrist lock and stomping Ryder to the floor. Out of a whip, Ryder hits a drop kick and then mounts the turnbuckle and hits Jinder with 6 strikes to the head as the crowd count along. Jinder shoves him off and then gets caught in flapjack and then clotheslines him and covers him for a two count.
Ryder then goes aerial: he suplexes Mahal, again only getting two from the cover but then clotheslines him over the top rope and, as his buddies go to his aid outside the ring, Ryder hits a missile drop kick through the ropes onto Jinder. We go to a commercial break.
When we return, Mahal is back in control after powering out of a wrist lock. He kicks Ryder through the ropes and begins to pummel him, throwing him back into the ring for a near fall. He then rains down on him with blows and kicks, and chokes him using the middle rope, then landing knees on him using the ropes as a springboard. Out of a neckbreaker, Ryder kicks out at two and we see Mahal using the WWE Superstars go-to move – the rear chin lock.
Ryder punches his way out of Mahal’s sloppy rest hold and gets scoop slammed for his troubles. Again, Mahal goes for the cover but only gets two. Ryder rolls out of the way of a running knee and then reverses a suplex attempt by Mahal, turning it into a neckbreaker. Both men stay down for a count of six. This time Ryder powers up and gets the heat.
The finish starts with a top rope missile drop kick from Ryder, who is then caught by a high knee from Mahal. While Ryder is down, Mahal goes for the camel clutch but Zack wriggles out and is able to hit the Rough Ryder against the run of play and covers him for the win. This was actually pretty decent. Jinder doesn’t have much of a move set and Ryder does about four or five moves well but they did a good job here of entertaining me on a Saturday morning – and what else is WWE Superstars for?
Winner: Zack Ryder via pinfall (6:45)
Well, it was better than last week. Which isn’t saying much. The peaks and troughs of the quality of WWE Superstars episodes continue. I suppose it keeps me on my toes. The show closes out with the entire Big Show beat-down segment at the hands of The Shield, Orton with Hunter and Steph.
– By James Cox